How I met two murderers…

On a Saturday morning when I was ten years old, my aunt showed up at the house. This wasn’t out of the ordinary to me because my cousin and I were on a soccer team together and we had a game that morning. The only thing I found odd was that instead of inviting my aunt inside to talk, my dad stepped outside with her.

I don’t remember my mom and dad telling me my uncle was missing. I don’t remember the names of the roads we drove or the conversations we had in the car. In some ways, I’m glad we didn’t find his car. I’m glad my mom turned around when the pavement ended instead of following that dirt road all the way out. I can’t imagine what 10 year old me would have done if we had found him that day. The next time my aunt showed up at the house I knew it wasn’t good news. Her eyes were red from crying and it looked like she barely slept. I didn’t have to ask to know they found him, or that he would never be coming home again.

It took two years for the trial to come to a close and the sentencing hearing to happen. I remember I was almost 12 years old wearing a red polo shirt with a black tie because I was way too into Avril Lavigne at that time. I don’t remember what I stood up and said, I just remember crying and trying to explain to these men that the person who’s life they decided to end was not just my uncle….he was my best friend.

Looking forward, it’s crazy to think that it’s only a few years away from their parole hearings. Something I’m not looking forward to standing up and speaking at. How do you explain to a courtroom full of people and a judge (that could care less because he’s just trying to get through as many cases as possible before lunch) how you feel 15 years later about the two men who woke up one day and decided to take the life of a man they didn’t even know? I’m not the same little girl missing her uncle anymore. How do you explain that your family never recovered and half of us don’t even speak to each other anymore? That Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners together are a thing of the past because the man they took away was part of the glue that held us all together….

I know time goes on and when people die we go on living our lives but one thing is for sure, those men did more than just take my uncle’s life. They took a piece of each and every member of my family and changed all of us forever.

 

-The Girl in the Glitter

Follow me on IG @thegirlintheglitter and Twitter @TheGirlNGlitter

Advertisements

New Hair, Who Dis?

The first time I ever dyed my hair I was about to graduate 8th grade. I went from my natural light strawberry blonde to white platinum blonde. I also chopped off about a foot long length of hair and donated it. It may have been the worst haircut of my life but at least it went towards something important. In addition to that, it began this never-ending spiral of weird/out-of-the-ordinary hair color changes. I think looking back, anyone that went to high school with me can associate me as the girl who changed her hair what seemed like every week (cue mostly cringe-worthy high school photos of me) As much as I’d like to think I’ve changed a lot since high school, there are something things that never change. Since my high school graduation in May of 2013 I have had 16 different hair colors. In that time my hair has grown longer and healthier than it ever has been, much thanks to the fantastic hairstylist I have (you can follow her on Instagram @bridalbyclaire or @clairehoneybadgerjulia). Here’s just a couple photos of the magic she’s created for me over the last 4 years:



Now the number one question I always get when I mention changing my hair color or mention what color I’ll be going to is always the same…WHY?

Why the hell not? Most of the time when I’m changing my hair color it usually has to do something with where I am in my life. A new job, relationship (or the end of one), a new home, or maybe just a basic ass new-year-new-me resolution. Whatever the reason may be, it always cracks me up when everyone around me is like…why would you want to dye your hair that color? Sometimes they even go to lengths telling me I shouldn’t do it! Using the famous, “..but your hair looks so pretty blonde!” that my mother is notorious for saying the second I even mention I have an appointment scheduled.

I get it. I know it’s not something that someone who has had the same haircut/color since 2002 will understand. I know that the popular thing to do is rock the same caramel balayage or ombre whichever your favorite Kardashian is wearing but let’s be real…that’s just not my style.

The funny thing about it all is that the only person that truly understands how my hair color coordinates with my style and personality is my girl Claire. She not only does a kick-ass job every time she even touches my hair but she has a way of pulling off the best representation of my personality in my hair color. When I came in this week and told her she had creative control as long as there was blue and purple involved, BOY DID SHE DELIVER! I walked out of that salon not only feeling like a hot bitch but I also felt more like myself than I had in a VERY long time.

So the next time I change my hair and someone asks me that same WHY they always do, the answer is simple…because I want to! 

Don’t ever let someone persuade you to avoid doing something that makes YOU happy. It’s not always about what everyone else thinks. Always remember that your number one priority should always be yourself. Allow yourself to be a little selfish sometimes. There’s nothing wrong with making yourself feel good. There’s also nothing wrong with being a little different sometimes. So if you want to dye your hair a weird color, do it! If you want to wear white after labor day, who am I to judge? Be whoever you want to be and not in some “stick it to the man” type of way. Just be you for you!


-The Girl in the Glitter 

Instagram: @thegirlintheglitter

Twitter: @TheGirlNGlitter

Don’t forget to check out the magic behind my gorgeous hair transformations, Claire!

Instagram: @bridalbyclaire or @clairehoneybadgerjulia

Change is inevitable..

The last time I posted was nine months ago. To say a lot has happened in those nine months is the understatement of the year. I’ve been through, grown, learned and achieved so much in that time it’s insane to think of where my life was then.  In my last post, I wrote about how although bad days happen, a bad day does not mean a bad life. Little did I know, a few short months later my life was about to CHANGE.

Six months ago, I got pneumonia. For 14 days straight I could not work, I could barely eat or get out of bed. It took me 9 days just to get into the doctor to finally find out how sick I actually was. On day 1, I could barely walk to the bathroom. On day 3, I couldn’t eat without coughing uncontrollably. On day 6, my relationship of 3 1/2 years ended. On day 8, I moved out of the place I called my home and moved back in with my parents. On day 15 (my first day back to work), I put in my letter of resignation to my job at the bank. Everything was happening so fast and there was very little I was able to control. I was broken-hearted, my immune system was shot, and I was 21, feeling like the last few years of my life were a complete waste of time.

At this point, it was hard to believe that it wasn’t a bad life. It was difficult to understand why everything was happening the way it was. Everything happens for a reason, right? Well guess what?! You don’t always get to know what the reason is. That’s not easy to accept when it feels like your whole world is crumbling around you.

Now, I know this post seems like a bit of a downer but I felt it necessary to start at the beginning because it’s why I am where I am now.

Well…where am I?

I’m working at a job I don’t dread going to everyday. I’m enjoying going out on a Saturday night and letting the cute guy at the bar buy me a beer…or three. I’m having board game nights with friends and staying up way too late drinking wine with my best friend. I’m going on dinner dates and road trips and music festivals. I’ve experienced more life in the last six months than I ever have and that is an amazing feeling.

The weird thing is, although I feel like I had to start over again as if I was 18 again, I’ve never really felt like I was acting my age until recently. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but I’m working on figuring that out. The last year before all these changes happened I was obligated to make decisions that I thought were going to give me a better life in the long run even if it meant being slightly unhappy at first.

That’s the thing about change. Sometimes it sucks, sometimes it hurts, and sometimes it’s just flat out miserable but eventually it might end up being the best thing that ever happened to you. Whether it’s the end of a toxic relationship, quitting your job, or moving back to your parents house as an adult. Sometimes we have to play the hand we’re dealt and make the best of it. It’s been six months since my whole life changed and through the tears and the heartache I could not be more appreciative of the opportunity I have been given to give myself a better life than I would have settled for….

taking the first step…

Now that I’ve officially recovered from my New Years Eve hangover and have dragged myself out of bed and back to work it’s time to get down to business. I mentioned in my last two posts about really focusing on myself this year. Between my goals financially, professionally, and personally, I am READY to make this year MINE.

Tackling all of these goals at once may do more harm than good, which is why prioritizing was the first step I had to take to figure out where I really needed to start. That’s when I realized I had a problem. I cannot tell you the last time I went over a month without buying myself something online. Whether this was clothes, makeup, or accessories…I cannot remember going more than two weeks without charging something to a credit card and just being like, “Eh, I’ll pay it off later.” Let’s just say that hasn’t really worked out for me.

That’s why this month my first challenge for myself is to BUY NOTHING. Now I don’t mean food and necessities but I mean unnecessary crap that normally I talk myself into getting because I want it. I have a keurig at home and a thermos so why do I need to buy Starbucks on my way to work? I don’t need the newest too faced palette even though it’s beautiful and smells like peaches and the shades feel like butter. I have a lot of eyeshadows in the palettes I own now that I’ve never even used. I’m not saying I’m going to become a minimalist or anything like that but I definitely need to get control of my spending.

By the end of this year I want to pay off at least two of my credit cards completely and close them. This is my first step in achieving one of my goals. Maybe it’s not the biggest step but that doesn’t matter. It’s about putting the effort in that is required. If you’re always putting in your full effort you can really do anything you put your mind to! Every. Step. Counts.

What’s your first step to achieve your goals this year?

 

-The Girl in the Glitter

Follow me on IG @thegirlintheglitter and Twitter @TheGirlNGlitter

 

The best christmas gift ever..

The dishes we’ve avoided doing for two days are finally done, our recycling bin is filled to the brim with wrapping paper, cardboard boxes, and about 8 empty champagne bottles, and we’re sitting on the couch wondering if it’s too early to take down the tree and decorations. The only feeling greater than spending the holidays with your family is the feeling of relief you get when the stress of the holidays are over. Don’t get me wrong I love spending time with my family and friends, but I almost love being able to find a parking spot at the grocery store just a little bit more.

This year my family celebrated Christmas Eve together by having dinner, opening presents, and giving an end of the year champagne toast to those who wouldn’t be joining us in 2017. There’s nothing that makes me happier than seeing my family mingling and enjoying the holiday all together. Normally we do all of our celebrating the night before Christmas and spend the next day doing a whole lot of relaxing. This year though, we decided that we would go up in the mountains and try and find some snow.

Shortly after beginning our journey up the hill, we were lucky enough to find snow covered hills and icicle dripping trees. We spent the entire day exploring paths and my dad told my boyfriend and me all kinds of histories and legends in the area. He seemed to know everyone who ever lived or owned land up there. To be honest I’m not all that surprised; when your family has grown up in the same place for over 100 years, you tend to pick up on some things.

At the end of the day, as the sun started to set and we headed back down the mountain to the edge of civilization that is our small town, I began to reflect on how thankful I was to spend the holiday with my parents and the love of my life. Although my family isn’t religious I always try to remember why we celebrate the holiday and do my best to show my respect to those who may not be able to afford gifts or travel to see their loved ones. I know it’s easy with social media flooded with the latest “What I got for Christmas” videos and posts, but never forget the best gift you can receive this holiday is the love and joy that your family shares together.

img_6737

 

 

-The Girl in the Glitter✨

back from hiatus..

Hello Everyone! I’m back from my little hiatus with lots of energy. I can’t believe it’s already December and at the same time I am SO GLAD this year is almost over. I’m pretty sure 2016 has been one of the best and worst years of my life. Which is why, starting January 1st, I’m planning a little 12 month challenge for the year of 2017. Each month brings on a different task to challenge yourself and detox your life in order to make 2017 the best year yet. The reason I decided to make this a one task per month challenge is because I thought really making a difference in your life takes time and effort. Taking your time and really putting your whole heart into becoming who you want to be. Marissa (@marissalace on IG and YouTube as well as owner of @lovelightandlace) started her #YearofYou journey just over a year ago. This was a journey of self love and positivity. Now my spin off of this is to not only embrace the concept of her #YearofYou but also use this to improve your life and achieve your goals. Goals are just dreams with a plan. So let’s make a plan. Let’s follow through together. Let’s change our lives. Also thank you to MarissaLace for being her very inspiring self and motivating me to do this. Subscribe to my blog posts to become a part of the journey. Time to live your best life.

 

-The Girl in the Glitter

Follow me on instagram (@thegirlintheglitter) and twitter (@thegirlnglitter)

Turn your dreams into achievable goals.

Have you ever seen something and it gives you this overwhelming of desire? That’s a calling. Sometimes it almost feels like anxiety when it falls over you. Sweaty palms, increased heart rate, those recurring thoughts that often cause the other symptoms to multiply…all because you caught a glimpse at the type of lifestyle or career you wish you could have. I know it might seem scary, but it is completely possible to achieve whatever you put your mind to. No, really, it’s not just a cliche. I’m not saying you’re going to wake up a millionaire one day, or that the dream job is going to just fall into your lap (not that, that isn’t possible). I AM saying that if you put your mind towards something and work your ass for it, you CAN achieve it.

Wake up and work hard. Does your job not pay enough or give you enough hours? Find another one. No education? Educate yourself. Take a class or do research and study on your own. Some jobs offer their own certification program. It might not be a degree from a university but it is something on your resume telling your future employer, “Hey, look at me!” Two years ago I was working a no-opportunity job that made gave me shitty hours and told me I was never good enough. A year ago I was working two jobs, getting almost no sleep and went almost a month with no day off and still wasn’t making enough to live on my own. But I was working hard? Why wasn’t it paying off? Because working with no goal in mind is like driving with no destination and wondering why you’re not there yet. Think about where you want to be in a year, 5 years, 10 years.. Make a plan. Make a vision board if that’s your thing. Listen to motivational speech videos on YouTube (seriously, they are amazing). Do whatever makes you feel inspired and do what you have to, to achieve it.

Last summer, I decided I wanted to buy a new car by March 2016. I wanted to do it on my own, no cosigner, no financial help from anyone. So I worked my ass off. In six months of starting my new job I became an assistant manager. I did this with no prior experience in anything but bussing tables and kissing rude wino’s asses just to make $20 bucks at the end of the night from servers that didn’t want to give me the 1.5 percent of sales that I rightfully deserved (#stillmad). I worked double days at both jobs for weeks. Using every paycheck to stash towards a future car payment or pay my credit cards to keep them at 30% of my credit limits so my credit score would be the best it could be for a 20 year old. I set a goal, had a plan, and I bought my brand new car in December of 2015.

Once I achieved my goal however, I sat on my ass and let the laziness set back in. I forgot what I was working towards. Where do I want to be in a year? What do I visualize for myself? How am I going to achieve that? Well, the answers to those questions bring me to my next piece of advice…

Keep your goals and ambitions to yourself.

The biggest motivator is yourself. Keep it that way. I’m not saying to keep your dreams from your best friends or family who love and support you no matter what. I just know that with everyone sharing every detail of their life on social media/blogs, it’s easy to feel like you want to shout your plans from the rooftops. However, no matter how loud you shout it, the only way to achieve the dreams and goals you want is to work towards them everyday. Never forget that.

-The Girl in the Glitter

P.S. This time next year, I MIGHT let you know what I had planned for the future. 😉