The last time I posted was nine months ago. To say a lot has happened in those nine months is the understatement of the year. I’ve been through, grown, learned and achieved so much in that time it’s insane to think of where my life was then. In my last post, I wrote about how although bad days happen, a bad day does not mean a bad life. Little did I know, a few short months later my life was about to CHANGE.
Six months ago, I got pneumonia. For 14 days straight I could not work, I could barely eat or get out of bed. It took me 9 days just to get into the doctor to finally find out how sick I actually was. On day 1, I could barely walk to the bathroom. On day 3, I couldn’t eat without coughing uncontrollably. On day 6, my relationship of 3 1/2 years ended. On day 8, I moved out of the place I called my home and moved back in with my parents. On day 15 (my first day back to work), I put in my letter of resignation to my job at the bank. Everything was happening so fast and there was very little I was able to control. I was broken-hearted, my immune system was shot, and I was 21, feeling like the last few years of my life were a complete waste of time.
At this point, it was hard to believe that it wasn’t a bad life. It was difficult to understand why everything was happening the way it was. Everything happens for a reason, right? Well guess what?! You don’t always get to know what the reason is. That’s not easy to accept when it feels like your whole world is crumbling around you.
Now, I know this post seems like a bit of a downer but I felt it necessary to start at the beginning because it’s why I am where I am now.
Well…where am I?
I’m working at a job I don’t dread going to everyday. I’m enjoying going out on a Saturday night and letting the cute guy at the bar buy me a beer…or three. I’m having board game nights with friends and staying up way too late drinking wine with my best friend. I’m going on dinner dates and road trips and music festivals. I’ve experienced more life in the last six months than I ever have and that is an amazing feeling.
The weird thing is, although I feel like I had to start over again as if I was 18 again, I’ve never really felt like I was acting my age until recently. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but I’m working on figuring that out. The last year before all these changes happened I was obligated to make decisions that I thought were going to give me a better life in the long run even if it meant being slightly unhappy at first.
That’s the thing about change. Sometimes it sucks, sometimes it hurts, and sometimes it’s just flat out miserable but eventually it might end up being the best thing that ever happened to you. Whether it’s the end of a toxic relationship, quitting your job, or moving back to your parents house as an adult. Sometimes we have to play the hand we’re dealt and make the best of it. It’s been six months since my whole life changed and through the tears and the heartache I could not be more appreciative of the opportunity I have been given to give myself a better life than I would have settled for….