For as long as I can remember I have always been skinny. I never went through a chubby phase or even gained much weight. The reason behind that is probably because I played on some sort of soccer team from 2000-2013. Considering I spent more than half my life on a soccer field, my body type was always considered “athletic” and it stayed that way even after high school graduation. I guess my decision to wait to go to college gave me a free pass from the freshman 15, because even when my diet consisted of Taco Bell or Jack n the Box I never gained more than a pound.
When I was 19, my life went through some pretty abrupt changes. I moved back home, started a second job, and had to start figuring out what I was doing with my life. For the first three months I lived off Jack n the Box tacos, Coors Original, and about 3-4 hours of sleep. There was a point I worked 21 days in a row and I seriously started to lose my mind. I was stressed beyond measure, making poor choices in relationships, and even worse choices when it came to my health. In April of 2015 I weighed 115 pounds, by July I weighed in at 99 pounds. I was sucked up and skinny, had lost the natural color in my face and was packing on the bronzer and blush to make me at least look human. The funny thing is I thought I looked great, that is until size 0 jeans didn’t seem to fit anymore. I was physically and mentally sick with stress, anxiety, and bad decisions.
I had dabbled in some recipes here and there but in August I made the conscious decision to learn how to cook. I made this decision because I was tired of being helpless in the kitchen and wanted to make sure I was getting the nutrients my body needed. Now I didn’t go crazy and do some 21 day detox or whatever, I just started with the basics. For me, the basics was pastas. Man, oh man…I LOVE PASTA. That could almost be an understatement, let’s be real here.
With more and more recipes under my belt, time went on, and so did the pounds. Now I can’t blame pasta for all of the weight gain, I also went on the depo shot in June (weight gain is known as one of the side effects), however I didn’t start gaining weight until September. At first I really didn’t notice or care, it wasn’t until my boyfriend pointed out that my booty was looking extra awesome in my jeans one day. Looking in the mirror, I had to agree with him…I was looking good.
It’s now May and I’m weighing in at 129.5. That’s the most I’ve weighed, ever. At first I was a little taken back by it. I wore baggy shirts, never really accentuating any part of my body in my clothes. Almost as if I was hiding my new figure behind my clothes. Then I decided to buy one of those tight tank top dresses. It’s a body con dress that comes down to about mid calf and has about a three inch slit on one side. I absolutely LOVE this dress but I wasn’t sure how I would look in it because I really hadn’t worn anything super tight since I gained the weight, but I said what the hell and put it on anyway. On my way to work I stopped at my boyfriend’s work to drop off his wallet that he had left at home. When I got there the first thing he said was something to the effect of my dress doing some pretty amazing things for my butt. I turned red as per usual and laughed it off. Then when I got to work, before my coworkers even said hello to me they proceeded to tell me how bomb diggity I looked in this dress. At this point I’m just thinking I need this dress in every color it comes in! All day long, customers were complimenting me and going on about how great I looked. About halfway through the day I know it has to be the fact my confidence level was through the damn roof on top of this killer dress, but obviously something was different. What was it? So I check myself out in the mirror and realized what the hell the big deal was…I had CURVES.
I’ve always had thicker thighs from sports but my butt was average, my hips were basically non-existent, and I could have been captain of the itty-bitty-titty-committy. Seeing this different side of me was shocking and almost terrifying, but looking back and seeing the sad, sucked up, starving version of myself when I wasn’t eating was more terrifying. I’ve never felt THIS good about my body. I literally radiate confidence and am not afraid to accentuate my new and wonderful curves instead of hiding them. Don’t get me wrong, a baggy tshirt still makes a comeback on casual fridays but I’m done using clothes as a shield. Fashion is FUN but it is not a mask! If I could give any advice to any girls out there not feeling very body positive, don’t hide behind your clothes! Find what works for you and DO YOU, GIRL.
-The Girl in the Glitter
(Follow me on instagram @thegirlintheglitter and twitter @TheGirlNGlitter)